Divorce Lawyer
Don’t File for Divorce Until You Do These 6 Things
To get ready to file for divorce, you need to document what you own, take control of your finances and personal information, and stay closely involved in your children’s daily routine.
Each of these steps gives you something you will use once the case starts: a record of what you own, your own private accounts and information, and proof of how involved you are with your children. Taking care of them before you file means you start the process ready, and you and your attorney can put your time toward the divorce itself.
Here are the six things to take care of before you file, and why each one matters.
1. Document Everything in Your Home
If your case becomes contested, you and your spouse may end up disagreeing about what was in the house and who it belonged to. A dated video and a written list settle that question before it turns into an argument.
- Record a video walkthrough: Go room by room with your phone, opening closets, drawers, cabinets, and safes, so you have a dated record of your furniture, electronics, and valuables.
- List your high-value items: Write down jewelry, art, collectibles, and firearms, with serial numbers, photos, and purchase dates wherever you have them.
- Keep proof of anything you owned first: Hold on to receipts, inheritance paperwork, and gift records for property you had before the marriage, which can keep it from being split as marital property.
2. Make Copies of Your Financial Records
Both of you will have to disclose your full finances once the case starts. If you gather your own copies now, your attorney has what they need from day one, and you are not paying later to chase down records you could have on hand today.
- Collect the basics: The last few years of tax returns, recent pay stubs, and statements for every bank, retirement, and investment account.
- Add your debts and property: Mortgage statements, loan documents, credit card statements, and the titles and deeds to your home and vehicles.
- Pull your credit report: A free credit report lists every account and loan in your name, which is the easiest way to catch debts you may have forgotten about.
3. Change Your Passwords and Secure Your Accounts
Most married couples share passwords, devices, and family plans without thinking twice about it. Once you start working with an attorney, you want those conversations and your accounts to be yours alone.
- Set up a private email: Create a new email address you use only for your attorney and any financial advisors.
- Change your passwords and PINs: Update your email, phone, bank, and social media logins, turn on two-factor authentication, and clear out any saved shared logins.
- Check what is being shared: Look at your phone, your apps, and your car for shared location and account settings, including a shared Apple ID, and separate them.
4. Know What You Own and What You Owe
When it comes time to divide things up, the process starts with a full list of what the two of you own together and what you owe. The more complete your list, the less likely something valuable slips by.
- List what you own: Your home, vehicles, bank and investment accounts, retirement accounts, any business interests, and valuable personal property.
- List what you owe: The mortgage, car loans, credit cards, student loans, and personal loans, and note whose name is on each.
- Look for the easy-to-forget accounts: Old 401(k)s from past jobs, pensions, deferred compensation, and stock options get overlooked all the time and can be worth a great deal.
5. Keep Your Children’s Routine Consistent
When a judge sets a temporary custody schedule early in the case, they look closely at the routine your children already have. The role you are playing in their daily lives right now matters.
- Stay hands-on: Keep doing the school drop-offs and pickups, the doctor’s appointments, the meals, and the bedtimes.
- Keep a simple log: Write down the daily schedule, who handles what, and any stretches when your spouse is away.
- Talk to your attorney before you move out: Leaving the home without your children for a long period can work against you on custody, so get advice before you do.
6. Be Careful What You Put in Writing
Once a divorce is underway, your texts, emails, and social media posts can end up in front of a judge. A few habits now will keep them from being used against you later.
- Keep messages short and factual: Stick to logistics like bills and the kids’ schedule and keep the tone civil even if your spouse does not.
- Stay off social media about your divorce: Do not post about your spouse, your case, your dating life, or big purchases, since any of it can be used against you.
- Take negotiations to your attorneys: If your spouse tries to settle property or custody by text, move it to counsel, and meet with a family law attorney to understand your options.
Your Pre-Filing Checklist
Here is everything in one place. Check off each item before you file:
- Document everything in your home: a dated video walkthrough plus a written list of valuables.
- Make copies of your financial records: tax returns, pay stubs, account statements, and a free credit report.
- Change your passwords and secure your accounts: new private email, two-factor turned on, shared Apple ID separated.
- List everything you own and owe: including old 401(k)s, pensions, and other easy-to-forget accounts.
- Keep your children’s routine consistent: stay hands-on and keep a simple parenting log.
- Be careful what you put in writing: keep messages factual and stay off social media about your divorce.
Once these are done, you are ready to sit down with an attorney and talk through your specific situation: what to expect on property, support, and custody, and which steps matter most in your case.
At Melone Hatley, P.C., we are Your Partner in Divorce®, protecting your family, your finances, and your future. If you have questions about divorce, separation, or how to prepare before you file, contact our team today to learn more about your options.
