Winter break is more than just a pause from school; it’s a much-anticipated time for families. Holiday travel, cherished traditions, and special seasonal events fill calendars and hearts. For co-parents, however, these joys can bring unique challenges. School schedules rarely sync perfectly with co-parenting plans. Snowstorms can disrupt travel, children may fall ill, and miscommunication can throw visitation schedules into disarray. While these bumps in the road are often unavoidable, approaching them with the right mindset ensures they don’t interfere with your co-parenting partnership.
This is when make-up parenting time plays a critical role. When winter plans fall apart, make-up time isn’t just about replacing hours lost. It’s about preserving the spirit of the season and showing respect for each other’s emotional connection with your children. When co-parents are willing to collaborate and find workable solutions, it prevents resentment from setting in and keeps the focus where it belongs – on your child’s stability and ability to enjoy the holidays with both sides of their family.
When Winter Weather Wrecks the Parenting Plan
Bad weather is notoriously one of the most common disruptors of your best-laid holiday parenting plans. Flight delays, icy roads, and school closures can all interfere with normal visitation schedules.
Courts generally expect co-parents to prioritize safety before any strict adherence to a schedule. That means if driving conditions are dangerous or travel is impossible, make-up time should be arranged instead of forcing an exchange.
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Tips for Handling Weather-Interrupted Visits
No one can control the weather, but how co-parents respond can either escalate the conflict or strengthen cooperation.
The safest thing to do is suggest make-up time for an unforeseen weather disruption to your holiday parenting plan. You should do the following:
- Document the reason for the missed exchange in writing, email or text message (weather alerts, road closures, flight cancellations).
- Suggest specific make-up dates when communicating with your co-parent.
- Offer equal or similar quality time. Don’t just tack on an extra afternoon when a full vacation day was missed and don’t use bad weather as an opportunity to get what you want.
- Emphasize safety, not blame, when communicating.
If the weather disrupts plans, it’s nobody’s fault and not a parenting failure. Instead, treat it as an opportunity to stay flexible and cooperative to ensure your child’s best interests above all else.
When Illness, Family Emergencies, or Travel Disrupts Winter Break Schedules
Kids love to get sick during the holidays, and that can severely impact your parenting plan. Courts recognize that sometimes it’s better for a sick child to just stay put. However, if the child is healthy enough to enjoy the holiday but just can’t travel, you should arrange for make-up time.
Family emergencies and unexpected travel restrictions can also lead to unavoidable missed time. In these cases, the best strategy is to maintain connection via video calls and even virtual gift opening until in-person time is possible.
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Make-Up Time Best Practices
Once a visit is missed, whether due to weather, illness, or travel issues, the focus becomes fairly and respectfully making up that lost time with the other parent. The goal shouldn’t be to credit parenting hours like a bank account but to understand the importance of the child’s time with that parent while minimizing stress and confusion. Thinking proactively and suggesting specific alternatives can go a long way toward keeping co-parenting cooperative instead of combative.
- Schedule the make-up time as soon as possible.
- Try to mirror the importance of the missed time, e.g. by swapping it for another weekend or equally important holiday.
- Put any agreements in writing, even informally by email or text, to avoid any confusion later.
Your willingness to be flexible will work to create goodwill with your co-parent – and even lead to some of the same courtesies in return!
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Long-Distance Parenting and Holiday Disruptions
For the parent who has to navigate their parenting long-distance, holiday disruptions can be even more frustrating.
When planned holiday visits are disrupted due to travel delays or weather cancellations, both parents are usually disappointed. But for the parent who loses time with their child, it can feel especially discouraging. From the court’s point of view, this time is an essential part of maintaining consistent relationships with both parents. That means make-up time should be planned intentionally and fairly.
Fortunately, most long-distance parenting plans already include language that sets out how make-up time will work in case of cancellations. If yours does not, this will be a good time for an update. Courts usually expect parents to follow a clear process to make up for missed visits, including:
- How soon make-up time can be scheduled
- In what cases make-up time should be scheduled
- Whether make-up time must be equivalent to the missed time in its duration and quality
- How digital communication will be used in the meantime
Even more important, preserving your child’s emotional connection with the long-distance parent is critical. When kids can’t travel as expected, offering a virtual holiday celebration isn’t just a temporary substitute; it is considered vital to the long-distance parent-child relationship.
What Happens if the Other Parent Won’t Cooperate with Make-Up Time?
Even carefully crafted parenting plans can’t guarantee a cooperative co-parenting relationship. If one parent declines to provide make-up time or consistently avoids working together on scheduling, it’s wise to remain calm and act thoughtfully to resolve the situation.
The first step is clear communication. Reach out in writing with suggested dates and timing, keeping the message polite and solution focused. This not only keeps the conversation constructive but also provides a clear written record to make reasonable efforts toward a resolution. If your co-parent still refuses or dismisses your attempts, check your parenting plan or custody order for provisions for make-up times. Reminding your co-parent of that language may be enough to spark some cooperation.
However, if missed time becomes a pattern, especially if it’s interfering with your relationship with your child, it might be time to involve a family law attorney. Courts take interference with parenting time seriously, particularly if you can prove it’s making it difficult to preserve your relationship with your child. Judges expect co-parents to work together for the child’s benefit, and they can order make-up time or even modify a parenting plan when one parent is consistently blocking access.
The important thing is to keep your focus on the child, not conflict. When you respond patiently with a child-focused mindset and supporting documentation, you can protect your rights and your relationship with your child while demonstrating to the court that you’re committed to doing the right thing.
Get Help Protect Your Parenting Time
Holiday plans don’t always go as planned, but handled the right way, they show your children that you are committed to putting their needs first. When you approach make-up time for missed parenting time with patience, you not only preserve the holiday joy for your kids, but you also protect the long-term health of your co-parenting relationship.
However, if you’re facing repeated scheduling conflicts or you simply want to fortify your parenting plan with real-life make-up language, we are here to help. At Melone Hatley, P.C., our team of family law attorneys know that holiday co-parenting is challenging even in the most cooperative situations. Let us help you clarify your parenting plan to reduce conflict and ensure that your child’s best interests remain the focus. Call us at 1-800-479-8124 or contact us through our website to schedule a free consultation with one of our Client Services Coordinators.
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