If your child is celebrating that big birthday or walking across the stage at graduation, you are probably misty-eyed and caught up in moments of nostalgia. Where have the years gone? It was just yesterday you were dropping them off on the first day of kindergarten, and now….
What’s next in your parenting journey? While your role as a parent may not have changed much, you may have questions about your legal and financial obligations. Does child support end, and does that happen automatically? And who is responsible for college costs?
At Melone Hatley, P.C., we understand how confusing this stage of parenting can be. Let’s explore what really happens to custody orders, support orders, and co-parenting responsibilities after high school, and what steps you might need to take now.
When Does Custody End?
Legally, custody in Virginia ends when your child turns 18 years old. Once a child reaches this milestone, they are considered an adult in the eyes of the law. That means you no longer have legal authority to make decisions for them, even if they’re still living at home or financially dependent.
To parents, this can feel like a sudden and emotional shift, especially if you’ve followed detailed parenting schedules for years. There are no more visitation rights, no more custody exchanges. Now, your young adult has the freedom (and responsibility) to make decisions for themselves, for everything from housing to healthcare. While your influence and support are still crucial, they have the final say about their life.
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What About Child Support?
One of the biggest misconceptions is that child support automatically ends on your child’s 18th birthday. In many states, including Virginia, child support will continue beyond the age of 18 if the child has not yet finished high school, as long as they are enrolled full-time and making progress toward graduation. This ensures that parents continue to contribute to their child’s needs during these critical final years of education.
Failing to understand your court order can lead to unnecessary legal complications. You’ll want to carefully read your order, looking for specific clauses that outline when support ends. Don’t wait until your payment is due to start asking questions. A quick legal review by your family law attorney can save you from costly assumptions.
When Child Support Doesn’t End at 18 or Graduation
There are important exceptions to the typical age cutoff for child support. These can include the following.
Children With Special Needs
If your child has a physical or mental disability that prevents them from becoming self-supporting, many jurisdictions allow child support to continue indefinitely. This support can cover medical care, supervised housing or assisted living, vocational or educational programs, and day-to-day expenses. To qualify, the disability usually must be documented and preexisting before the age of majority, and a parent may need to file a motion with the court to request continued support.
Agreements that Include Extended Support
Even if the law doesn’t require support after 18, parents can agree either privately or through a court order, to extend support. These agreements often include provisions for college tuition, room and board, health insurance until age 26, or living expenses while in school or training. Once incorporated into a court order, these agreements are enforceable, even if they go beyond what state law would require.
Post-Secondary Education Laws (in Some Jurisdictions)
Some states, such as New Jersey, Indiana, Massachusetts, and New York, require child support to continue if the child is enrolled in college or another post-secondary program. Details vary by jurisdiction, and support may be reduced or recalculated based on the child’s situation.
Support Arrearages (Past-Due Child Support)
Even when a child turns 18 or graduates, unpaid child support remains enforceable. Courts have enforcement tools such as wage garnishment, seizure of tax refunds or property, license suspensions, or other enforcement tools, even if the child is now an adult. In other words, parents can’t avoid paying what is already owed simply because the child has aged out of support.
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So, Who Pays for College Expenses?
College is expensive, and many parents assume that child support will help cover the costs. But in most states, standard child support orders don’t include college tuition, books, room and board, or other post-secondary expenses. The exception is when these expenses are specifically included in your parenting agreement or court order.
If you and your co-parent agreed either informally or through a legal agreement to divide or share college costs, and that was incorporated into a court order, then it can be enforced. But if no such provision exists, then the court has no authority to force a party to contribute to these expenses, no matter how capable they may be financially.
This is why it’s important to plan ahead. If you believe college is on the horizon, you’ll want to talk to your attorney about amending your agreement to provide for tuition, housing, meal plans, travel expenses, health insurance, or other essentials. Even a brief clause outlining expectations can prevent major conflicts later.
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Updating or Modifying Agreements
If your child is approaching 18 (or is already there), it’s a good idea to revisit your parenting plan and support order.
You may need to:
- Understand how and when to terminate child support
- Arrange to extend child support for a child with special needs
- Consider adding clauses regarding college costs
- Clarify financial expectations for the near future
Even if you and your co-parent are in agreement now, verbal understandings can break down later. Formalizing your new arrangement in writing can save time, money, and stress. Modifications are easiest when done proactively, rather than in the middle of a dispute. Now is the time to act.
Co-Parenting Never Ends
Your legal parenting plan may expire, but your parenting responsibilities don’t. In many ways, co-parenting an adult child can be even more nuanced without those legal guardrails. You’ll still need to navigate college costs, other financial responsibilities, holiday visits, emergency plans, and life in general.
Even without a formal custody schedule, clear communication and mutual respect are essential. Setting expectations ahead of time helps you both continue to support your child without falling back into conflict. This co-parenting is a new kind of partnership that focuses on a shared goal of launching your child into adulthood and setting the right stage for a long and successful future.
Seeking Legal Advice
Navigating the legal and financial responsibilities that come with a child turning 18 can be confusing. Having the right legal guidance provides skilled legal insight and peace of mind. At Melone Hatley, P.C., we’re here to help you understand your obligations and rights as you transition into this next stage of parenting. Call us today at 800-479-8124 to schedule a free consultation with one of our Client Services Coordinators.
Schedule a call with one of our client services coordinators today.
