Let’s face it. Summer break sounds great in theory – long, lazy, sunny days with no early hours or school activities looming over your shoulder.
But for many co-parents, summer often brings a whole new set of stressors. The structured routine of school is gone, and schedules get complicated. On top of that, you and your co-parent both seem to want to go on vacation at the same time. With some proactive planning and a healthy dose of patience, summer doesn’t have to turn into a tug-of-war. Without that unnecessary drama, you may even find that you can enjoy your summer after all.
Plan Ahead – WAY Ahead
Summer co-parenting can go so much smoother when you have a solid plan in place before all the chaos starts. Once school ends, everything changes, including the schedule that worked so well for you during the school year. The best gift you can give yourself (and your child) is to sit down with your co-parent well in advance – ideally in the spring – to map your summer plans out.
Check Your Custody Order First
Before making any summer plans, consult your court order or parenting agreement. Many custody schedules specifically outline who gets the kids during summer break or school vacations, and these rules may look very different from your normal week-to-week routine.
What should you look for?
- When do you have your kids? Does one parent get the first half of the summer and the other the second? How does that affect your plans?
- Are there any notice requirements?
- Are holidays like July 4th or Labor Day split or rotated in your parenting agreement?
Don’t assume your usual schedule applies. Summer break often has different rules, and you’ll want to understand and follow them to avoid unnecessary conflicts. If something is unclear, it’s better to clarify it with your co-parent or attorney now rather than once it becomes a dispute.
Lock in Vacation Dates
If you or your co-parent is planning a trip, get those dates on the calendar early.
Whether it’s only a long weekend or a full-blown out-of-state vacation, clarifying dates helps both of you get on the same page and avoid conflicts. In fact, many parenting plans require you to notify the other parent in writing a specific number of days in advance before taking your child on vacation, so double-check those terms. This avoids any last-minute “I didn’t approve this!” arguments.
Consider Summer Camp and Activity Schedules
Summer camps, sports leagues, art and craft classes – these are all great to fill kids’ time when school’s out. But they can be a scheduling nightmare when you are co-parenting.
Figure it out before it begins. Who will be responsible for signing up and paying for the camp or activity? What will drop-off and pick-up times be, and how does that fit with both of your work schedules? Does a sleep-away camp overlap with both parents’ scheduled parenting time? The earlier you coordinate, the less likely you will be scrambling later or accidentally doubling up efforts.
Coordinate Work Schedules and Childcare Coverage
Let each other know about any changes to your work hours during the summer. If one of you works longer hours or takes on more shifts, discuss how that will affect who’s watching the kids. If you don’t talk about this early, it often ends with one parent scrambling and the other getting frustrated. Planning now saves everyone stress later.
Transportation and Handoffs
Who will be driving, where, and when? While this may seem minor, it can become a big deal when parents assume the other is picking up from camp or other activities and taking the child to their next destination. Make it clear who will pick up and drop off on specific days, where any exchanges will happen, and at what time.
Special Events, Birthdays, Holidays
Summer is full of special days – July 4th, birthdays, family reunions, grandparent visits. These moments matter, so decide ahead of time who gets what, or how you will split time, if necessary. Rotate holidays, split the day, or agree to celebrate together. No one size fits all, but deciding ahead of time avoids all sorts of emotional landmines later.
Use Shared Tools or Parenting Apps to Stay Organized
Organizing and remembering all of this is much easier when it’s not just floating around in text message threads or “mental notes.” Creating a shared accessible space where both of you can see the summer schedule at a glance can be a game-changer.
Google Calendar, Cozi Family Organizer, or apps like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents let you coordinate, add reminders, share accountability, and keep you both involved and informed in your coordinated summer plans.
Schedule your free meeting with our team today to see if our Lawyers can help you.
Remember to Keep it Flexible, Respectful, and About the Kids
At the heart of summer co-parenting is one simple truth – it’s not about you and your former spouse; it’s about your kids. Summer should be a time when they can unwind, have fun, and make memories without being stuck in the middle of tension or power plays. And the way to make that happen is with lots of flexibility and communication.
Focusing on what’s best for your child, not what feels fair or convenient for the adults, may mean letting your child attend a last-minute birthday party with your ex-spouse’s family, even if it cuts into your parenting time. Or allowing an extra few hours of scheduled time because grandparents are visiting from out of town. Small gestures made in good faith create a more peaceful and cooperative environment for everyone.
This is where communication can play a big role. Keeping communication short, clear, and focused on the kids avoids getting pulled into emotional arguments and rehashing old fights. Thinking of it as a business partnership can help you to remain calm and courteous while managing your shared project (your kids).
Focusing on What’s Important
Co-parenting without drama isn’t about liking each other. It’s about loving your child enough to work together, even when it’s difficult. At the end of the day, the goal is to give your kids the kind of summer they can look back on with fondness, not tension.
If you need help navigating custody issues or creating or updating a parenting plan, let us help. At Melone Hatley, P.C., we’re not just family law attorneys. We’re your dedicated advocates and partners through each step of your process. Call us today at (800) 479 – 8124 or schedule a free consultation with one of our Client Services Coordinators.
Schedule a call with one of our client services coordinators today.
