The holidays are usually painted as a season of joy – family gathered around the table, kids’ laughter, all the well-loved traditions that make the time together meaningful. But if you’re struggling in your marriage, especially if you’ve already decided to move forward with a divorce, the holidays can have a flip side. Timing? That can also be a conundrum.
On the surface, it may seem like the simplest timing choice is just to wait, avoid disruption, and start fresh after the new year. But timing in divorce is about more than dates on the calendar. Your children’s emotional well-being, financial consequences, and potential legal strategies should all be part of your decision-making process.
At Melone Hatley, P.C., we understand the delicate balance you’re facing during the holiday season. We’re here to offer some suggestions that can help you navigate these important decisions that can impact your children’s needs and your long-term goals.
Emotional and Family Considerations
The holidays are emotional for everyone. And the idea of filing for divorce in November or December can feel like throwing fuel on an already stressful time. You may be concerned about ruining the holidays for the children or breaking the news to family at the worst possible time. You may genuinely want one last chance for a holiday together before you call it quits.
But postponing isn’t always the kinder choice. Children are highly perceptive and sense tension even if you and your spouse are actively trying to hide it. In some cases, “holding it together” until after the holidays creates more stress than it prevents.
There’s no easy answer, but a question worth asking is why you’re delaying. Is it for your children’s well-being? To avoid uncomfortable conversations with family? Or are you not yet sure divorce is inevitable? The answers can give you more clarity on what your next steps should be.
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Custody and Parenting Schedules
One of the most immediate impacts of filing for divorce before the holidays will be custody and parenting schedules. Filing before means that courts can issue temporary custody and visitation orders, which set out specifics about where your children will spend particular holidays.
If you wait until after the holidays, you will have to rely on informal agreements with your spouse. Depending on your relationship and level of cooperation, this could be risky if communication is already strained. On the other hand, if you have forged a more collaborative approach, this may allow for one last holiday under the same roof, sparing the kids from the stress of back-and-forth arrangements during the season.
Financial Timing
Timing filing for divorce around the holidays can also have some financial consequences you will want to consider.
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Taxes
IRS determines your filing status based on your marital status as of December 31. If your divorce is finalized before the end of the year, you will file Single or Head of Household. If you are still married, you will file Married Filing Jointly or Married Filing Separately.
Filing jointly may seem appealing since it comes with a higher standard deduction and access to important tax credits. It can also lower the overall tax bill when one spouse earns significantly more than the other. But joint returns can come with drawbacks when couples are considering divorce. Both spouses remain fully responsible for any taxes owed, meaning the IRS can hold either spouse accountable for the full amount.
Married Filing Separately means that each spouse submits their own returns, reporting their own income, deductions, and credits. This option provides more financial independence and is especially important if one spouse is concerned about the other’s honesty and accuracy at tax time. The trade-off is that separate filers often lose access to certain deductions and credits, leading to a higher combined tax bill overall.
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Marital Income and Debt
Another consideration is how income and debt are divided during a divorce. In most cases, any income earned or debts incurred before the official date of separation are considered marital property and obligations. This means that if you remain together through the end of the year, any holiday bonuses, end-of-year payouts, and even credit card charges for gifts and travel will fall into that “marital pot.”
Filing before the holidays may give you a clearer claim to a portion of your spouse’s bonus or other year-end income. It can also protect you from being on the hook for new debt your spouse may incur during the holiday season. On the other hand, waiting until the new year allows you to finish out the tax year together, close the books on your income and expenses, and divide everything more cleanly moving forward.
Health Insurance and Benefits
Health insurance is also an important consideration when deciding whether to file for divorce before or after the holidays. In many families, one spouse carries the entire household on their employer-sponsored health plan. Once divorce is finalized, however, the other spouse may lose access to that coverage and need to seek alternatives, like COBRA or the Health Insurance Marketplace.
A December divorce could mean that coverage ends abruptly for one spouse, leaving them to scramble during the holiday season. This can be especially stressful if you have ongoing medical needs, planned procedures, or children who need consistent medical care. Deductibles are also another consideration. If you’ve already met your annual deductible in the current year, changing plans mid-December could mean starting over with a brand-new deductible on a replacement policy.
On the other hand, waiting until January may allow you to take advantage of a new coverage year, ensuring that you begin fresh under a new plan and have time to arrange for alternative coverage. It also ensures that everyone in the family starts together under the new deductible cycle.
Emotional Readiness
Beyond the legal and financial considerations, timing your divorce may simply come down to your readiness. Divorce isn’t a simple legal matter. It’s the unraveling of two lives and the beginning of a very different one. And the holidays can intensify all those emotions, memories, wishes, and regrets, making it difficult to know what timing is right, whether acting now or waiting.
For some couples, the holidays are a final opportunity to reflect on their relationship or even consider reconciliation. Planning family gatherings and traditions may spark a chance to see whether there is still enough connection to make things work. For others, forcing the holidays through a strained marriage creates even more pain and turmoil. Prolonging conflict, even for the sake of appearances, causes tension for everyone, especially the children.
There is No Universal “Best Time” for Divorce
Deciding when to divorce isn’t just about dates or convenience. It’s also about your emotional well-being, your children’s stability, and your financial situation. Making these decisions, especially during the holidays, can feel overwhelming. Speaking with an experienced family law attorney can help you understand the impact of your timing on your particular circumstances and provide peace of mind so you can move forward in a way that works best for you.
At Melone Hatley, P.C., we guide families through these difficult transitions every day. If you’re facing similar challenges or need additional legal insight, we’re here to help. Our team can help you make the choices that protect your rights and your family’s future. Call us at 800-479-8124 or contact us through our website to schedule a free consultation with one of our Client Services Coordinators.
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