5 Things to Think About Before Separating During the Holiday Season
The holiday season – it’s depicted as a season of gathering families and joyful traditions. But for couples facing marital discord, this time can also reveal cracks in the armor. Is separation the right move? And when?
Choosing to spend time apart is a very personal decision that can be made even more difficult with the impending holiday season. Here, we explore five things to consider before you make your decision.
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1. The Emotional Impact on Your Children
Children thrive on stability and routine, two things that can feel uncertain when their parents split. Add the holidays, with good memories and ingrained family traditions, and this often magnifies any instability. Announcing a separation right before the holidays? This can cause a sense of loss and sadness that may be hard for the kids at a time when they should be feeling happy.
Does this mean you should stay in an unhappy situation just to smooth things over or for appearances sake? No. But if you do decide to move forward with a separation before the holidays, you should consider how you’ll support your children through it emotionally. Can you and your spouse commit to presenting a united front during holiday events? Can you create some new traditions that reassure them that family bonds remain intact? Prioritizing a sense of security for your kids is essential and will make a world of difference in how they navigate this time.
2. Financial Considerations During a High-Spending Season
The holiday season can stretch a budget, even under good circumstances. Gifts, holiday decorations, travel, social events – these all add up. But a separation during this time involves added expenses. Temporary housing and supporting two households can create additional financial pressures that can quickly become overwhelming.
Do you have the resources to handle both holiday spending and these additional costs? Is it wiser to wait until after the new year to take legal and financial steps, when the holiday spending is behind you? Can you begin the planning process now without making dramatic moves until you’re financially ready? Consulting with a family law attorney can help you weigh options and make informed decisions about your timing.
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3. Family Gatherings and Social Dynamics
Holidays usually bring families together, which can make a separation during this time especially visible to extended family and friends. Attending gatherings separately, or skipping them altogether, can spark speculation and fuel unwanted questions. Do you need the added stress of explaining the situation during holiday get-togethers and family functions?
If you choose to move forward, give thought to how you’ll handle these situations. What do you feel comfortable sharing? How will you answer invasive questions? How will you protect your and your family’s privacy and still enjoy the season? Planning in advance can help you consider these possibilities and reduce some of the pressure around how you’ll respond.
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4. Timing and Legal Strategy
Dates matter when it comes to legal and financial issues surrounding the end of a marriage. Your tax status, your property division, how you will share custody – these are all matters that need to be considered if you’re considering separating or divorcing at the end of the year.
Understanding the details is essential, as it can save you time and money in the long run. Consulting with your attorney before making any decisions ensures that you understand the implications of separating now or waiting. Even if you’re not ready to file immediately, having a legal and financial strategy to work from can help you take any next steps fully prepared.
5. Your Own Emotional Readiness
Perhaps the most important consideration when you’re thinking about a separation is your own emotional readiness. This isn’t merely a legal process but also a highly emotional one, especially during an already emotional time of the year.
Emotional readiness looks different for everyone. The sudden shift can feel isolating and lonely at a time when everyone else seems happy and connected. On the other hand, you may be feeling the need to start the process now to reclaim a sense of peace after a turbulent time. If you’re leaving a marriage that has been rife with conflict, stepping away from this constant tension can offer a sense of relief during an already stressful season. For some people, a fresh start is the greatest gift they can give themselves during the holidays.
What really matters is prioritizing your own mental and emotional health, whether that means taking action now or waiting until things feel more grounded and stable.
There’s really no perfect time to make the decision to separate, but the holidays come with their own unique set of challenges that deserve some careful consideration. At Melone Hatley, P.C., we know these decisions are never easy. Our experienced family law attorneys may not be able to help with the emotional aspects of your decision, but we can help you weigh the legal and financial implications. Call us today at 800-479-8124 or contact us online to schedule a free consultation with one of our Client Services Coordinators.
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