How to Cope with Divorce as a Christian

Written on June 01, 2021

The topic of divorce is one that is tough for everyone. But when divorce directly conflicts with your faith, getting out of the bad situation can become overwhelming. 

When you got married, you likely never gave divorce a second thought; no one should go into marriage planning for divorce. But the harsh reality is that in our society, divorce has become extremely common, in fact, over 50% of marriages end in divorce. If you are a Christian, thinking about or going throug the divorce process can be scary and anxiety-inducing. You may believe that sharing this truth about yourself will lead to your community judging you or thinking that you are going against their core beliefs. In today’s article, we want to help you find ways to work through this fear and offer our support as a resource to work alongside you as we weave your way through what can be a challenging divorce process. 

5 Truths Christians Need to Know About Divorce

    • It always takes 2 to make a marriage work. You may be going through a divorce, but that does not mean that you didn’t do everything you could to save the marriage—if your spouse does not treat you with respect or respect your marriage, there may be nothing you can do. 
  • You are worth more than your marital status. You are more than just a wife. You play so many important roles; you may be a mom, a nurse, a teacher, a dog mom, or a foodie—don’t let a bad marriage define who you are. 
  • Surround yourself with people who affirm your worth. You must find people who give you a space to belong. You do not want to surround youself with people who blame you for your detioriating marital status. You want your community to build you up and support you, not tear you down.
  • There is no predetermined time when you will be “over it.” Healing happens for different people at different times. Because a divorce requires healing on many levels, you may have to double back in your healing process to address deep wounds. 
  • Your marriage was not doomed from the start. So often people want to find a reason their marriage fell apart and so they’ll pick themselves apart to find what they characterize as a “fatal flaw.” Divorce is too heavy a burden to entirely carry yourself and rarely can be seen at the beginning.

4 Important Steps to Take When Going Through a Divorce as a Christian

Step #1: Set Boundaries

Boundaries are so vital to surviving a divorce. If your spouse is cheating and/or abusive, it is even more vital to set healthy boundaries in your life and marriage. Just because you are the one that will no longer take the abuse from your spouse does not mean you are abandoning your faith when seeking a divorce.

Step #2: Connect with Other Divorced Christians

Seek out divorce care, divorce recovery, or MeetUps for divorced Chstirians. If there are none in your area, maybe consider starting your own. However you find them, it’s imperative that you are around people who are going through similar circumstances and have similar internal struggles as you do.

If you feel like you want a fresh start and a new Christian community, consider looking for a new church as it can be therapeutic to start over with a group of people that didn’t know you as a married couple. 

Step #3: Find a Divorce Attorney You Can Trust

For Christians, going through a divorce can be incredibly difficult because of the pressures and judgment they may feel from the church body, family, and friends. Our office is a judgment-free zone and we will continue to encourage you throughout your divorce to consider biblical healing your focus of the process. 

As a Christian, you understand the importance of trying to work things out peacefully. As such, we always discuss mediation as one solution for the divorce process. Being able to work things out amicably will always be better than fighting in Court.  

At Melone Hatley P.C. we understand that your beliefs and tenants are an important part of your life and we work to accommodate your beliefs; whether that dictates how you proceed through the divorce, process information, or decide to raise your children—we will be there every step of the way.

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